I recently received praise from a reader for the field post letters in “Life’s Labyrinthine Course”. There are no scenes in the book that take place directly at the frontline and so the events of the war are mainly shown through the letters from the front. My reader wrote that it was noticeable how well the letters were researched, how authentic they seemed, and: “That’s very moving, especially when you know that it was at least somewhat similar to reality.” Of course that made me very glad, just like her statement that the chapters covering the war years often seemed so intense that she needed a reading break every now and then to process what she had read. I often felt the same way when researching the topics and it means a lot to me when I find out that I can convey this intensity in my books.
There were also some questions about the issues raised in the letters, about the situation of spouses separated by war. It was fun to revisit the topic through these questions. I already wrote in an earlier article how fascinated I was by the real field post letters, which I read for research and then out of pure interest. It touched me very much to gain such a private insight through these letters, into the thoughts, worries and feelings of people who experienced such an intense and painful part of our history. For years they were denied what is completely normal for us today – and what should be normal: spending everyday life with spouses, children or other loved ones.
My little darling Eve ! How often do I think of you or the boy. Sometimes I cry in bed in the evening, I feel so abandoned.
Quotes from letters found on the site museumsstifung.de
In the worst case, this separation forced by the war was forever; it must have been particularly cruel when one didn’t even know what had happened to the husband, father, son or brother. This fear is expressed again and again in the letters to the front; in the later war years, the soldiers also feared for the well-being of their families at home. A letter complains that there has been no news for seven weeks. The words themselves sound quite factual in the letter, but one can imagine the worry and suffering behind them. In the last months of the war there was also some exchange of information about where to look for each other after the end of the war if contact was lost. “However, if you no longer receive any news from here, always check in Gronau first. I now want to finally turn there, simply because it is on the other side of the Elbe. It seems to me even safer of Sovier invasion than Perleberg,” a woman writes to her husband in March 1945, for example, and at the end of the letter she lets the uncertainty and fear shine through: “I have no illusions at all, but I still nurture quiet hopes.”
Even without concern for the well-being of the family, the longing for letters was strong. In many letters from the front the PS is “Write as often as you can!”, the joy of every letter received is enthusiastically expressed, it is emphasized how much comfort every message from home brings. Every little detail of the daily routine is reported or asked about. You can feel the soldiers‘ hunger for information from home; nothing is too banal. The wives‘ letters often contain minute descriptions of a normal day. The soldiers also write quite detailed. I noticed how many letters begin with a description of the current situation along the lines of “It’s now 8 o’clock in the evening, I’ve just eaten my dinner and am sitting right next to the stove while…” The beloved spouse is not present, but these precise descriptions can be used to paint a picture with words and brings both spouses together at least in thought. Creating this closeness is particularly important for soldiers who are so far away; it is often a valuable support, a little escape.
When I close my eyes and am not yet asleep, my wishful dreams recreate everything beautiful like a silent film. But I don’t see it vividly or clearly. Just a smile from you, little Bärbel, as you bend down to pick a flower and Hans Dieter’s mouth twists into a cheerful laugh. It can’t be described. It’s a fraction of a second in which one is away from this land of horror.
The participation of the absent husbands and fathers in family life is important to both sides, and this is also evident in the letters. A wife sends her husband her household books to the front to get his opinion. He discusses each individual item, often with humorous and loving comments. Parenting advice is requested and given, and family conflicts or purchases are discussed in writing. Everything that married couples can casually discuss over dinner today had to take place in the letters that often traveled for weeks. This is excruciating, especially when there are disagreements. A soldier only finds out weeks later that a flippant remark was hurtful, explains himself, can only do this in writing, and has to wait weeks again to find out whether the disagreement is resolved. Even when spouses or children are sick, you can feel how painful it was to have to wait a long time for news and to worry. This becomes very clear when a couple is expecting a child. I read one letter where every line shows that the father-to-be is almost dying of impatience and worry, how sad he is not to be able to be by his wife’s side during this time, to find out about the birth of the child with a considerable delay, not to be able to see the child – in some cases the fathers will never get to know their child.
So, my child, do me a favor and don’t be so secretive! Everything is easier to bear this way. Although it is not nice when women bother their husbands with every little thing, the opposite is also bad; after all, that’s what one is married for: you have to bear everything together. Furthermore, unpleasant news is easier to bear than foreboding uncertainty.
Occasionally the letters also show that the spouses are keeping things from each other or toning down unpleasant things so as not to worry the other. A husband is completely shocked because he only finds out from his wife that she was ill after she overcame her illness, and he writes very emphatically that she must tell him everything immediately in the future. The question arises as to what must have been more difficult: hearing about something unpleasant the other person goes through and feeling the helpless frustration of being hundreds of miles away and unable to support your loved one – or fearing that your spouse will be burdened keeping to many things secret. Both must have been terrible.
These days, when I have a lot of time, I often ask around to hear what others are writing home. There is hardly anyone who describes their real experiences.
The soldiers also often seem to have toned down their reports from the front. There are hardly any drastic descriptions in the letters I read; most of them are relatively harmless reports that emphasize the boredom. This could also be because the letters were often written during periods of rest, but I can well imagine that a lot of things were not written in order to spare the family at home worry. Another reason may have been that the horror was often impossible to put into words. But there were also honest letters, where the unpleasant aspects as well as the danger to life were openly described. The horrific war crimes rarely appear in the letters explicitly; sometimes they are mentioned in passing, combined with the comment that it would of course be unpleasant, but that the war had to be won. In some of the letters, however, it is also shockingly noticeable what fertile ground the Nazi ideology has already fallen on and that many atrocities were viewed with a complete lack of compassion when they were committed against people whom the Nazis portrayed as inferior.
Oh, my dear , if you were here now and saw us sitting here, all of us longingly listening to the radio music and all of us writing, Helm., Paul, Fritz. If I had you with me now, I think I would act without any fear, inhibitions or considerations today and would just love you, love and kiss you very passionately. But you’re far away, 2000 kilometers away, but you hear the same sounds from the loudspeaker and you know that I’m thinking about you as hotly and deeply as a human being can.
Much more often, however, I read the desperate longing for peace; especially on special days (Christmas, wedding anniversary, birthday), the hope of spending the next holiday in peace and together is mentioned. On days like these, many soldiers find consolation – albeit slight consolation – in imagining in all detail how their family at home is spending the day, or in remembering bygone times. The shared family life, which is so normal in times of peace, is embellished in an almost idyllic way in these memories. Plans for the future pervade the letters, some vague, some very specific. The longing for home leave from the front is another recurring theme, especially before the holidays. Several times soldiers express irritation at their wives‘ incomprehension when a vacation ban is issued or a home leave request is not approved. It seems clear that the situation at the front was incomprehensible – and often inexplicable – to many family members at home and this always leads to slight tensions in the correspondence. The soldiers are going through something that they cannot and sometimes do not want to convey to their relatives.
With such long separations and uncertainty about the spouse’s living conditions, it is not surprising that concerns about marital fidelity are repeatedly mentioned in the letters – also on both sides. The wives hear plenty of stories about soldiers having fun in Wehrmacht brothels or taking local women to bed. After the conquest of France, the “good” life on the Western Front was a topic everywhere, and there were also caricatures and postcards about it. There was hardly any fighting, the soldiers had a lot of free time, plenty of money and stayed in one place long enough to make contacts. On the Eastern Front there were women whose only alternative to starvation was to get involved with Wehrmacht soldiers. All this is known to the wives and they ask their husbands about it in their letters. There is never any talk of sexual assaults – whether out of ignorance or fear of discussing the topic. Of course, the husbands affirm their loyalty in their letters, always with the assurance that while it was true that many soldiers got involved with women and sometimes things got heated, one of course wouldn’t dream of doing something like that. As one character in “Life’s Labyrinthine Course” says: “No man would be stupid enough to write something different to his wife.”
In a letter from Ernst Guicking to his wife Irene – a couple whose letters particularly touched me – one can also read genuine indignation at her suspicion that he might be unfaithful to her in France. One can clearly see here how the uncertainty about marital fidelity, the rumors and assumptions could put a strain on even the most loving relationship.
In any case, I love you so much and have such a great longing for my wifey. It’s been a quarter of a year since I was with you. It’s high time to come home again, otherwise you’ll get a boyfriend and I’ll be left out in the cold. Just the thought, if that actually happened. But I know you’d never do that. Well, who knows, many honorable women have stumbled when their husband has stayed away for too long. It surely takes a lot of energy to endure that. But I can’t change it either, I would rather be with my good wifey than sleep here alone.
The soldiers themselves also repeatedly heard stories about unfaithful wives. In the letters I read, they always reassure their wives that she herself is, of course, above suspicion and that her fidelity is not in doubt. In some cases it will certainly have been an indirect way of asking for loyalty insurance.
I was surprised at how openly intimate topics were addressed in the letters – after all, many of the letters were read by the censors. Our grandparents or great-grandparents sometimes communicated very directly, sometimes with insinuations. There are also many declarations of love, starting with often touching greetings such as “My favorite little cuddler”. On wedding days, many husbands look back on their marriage with words full of love, but there are also other beautifully worded sentences of affection that still touch us directly even after almost eighty years and show so clearly that there are people behind world history, with all their feelings, worries and hopes, which were unfortunately all too often dashed by the cruel war.
I am with you in everything, always and always. And if I want, I can conjure up your lovely face here and look into its eyes, deep down to the bottom of the heart and you can feel it there.
Heike Wolf - Historische Romane 